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间客写完了-致淡淡

我有时候想想你以前说的那些话,虽然我记性不太好,可能具体什么话都忘了,只留下那怎么也抹不去的,在心头的颜色。-说这话的时候,突然就觉得,现在怎么什么感觉都很难留在心中了呢。 那些颜色,是各种各样的,有红色,粉色,蓝色,灰色,但却没有黑色。我记得以前说,我的梦里,总是夜晚,太阳很少出来,黑色总是那么浓重,但对你的记忆里,却从来没有过黑色,真是让我倍感欣慰的一件事。你啊,总是追求那点浪漫的感觉,我有时候努力的让你开心,觉得你喜欢浪漫,我就做点什么让你觉得浪漫吧,虽然我做的也不算太差,按我自己来说,还是太生硬了。也许是我懒,其实我更喜欢温馨呢。也许你看来那是浪漫的,可能我更觉得的是温暖,是恬静,是让你从心理感觉到的,安全。爱情真的从来都不是个脱离了现实的存在阿,哪怕是梦想中的爱情,那也不是那种生死不渝,而是相互体贴,彼此欣赏,相互支持和互相关心。说白了,就是的相互的玩意,给与的时候高兴,获得的时候开心,那就是生活最好的一份礼物了。如果我死了,我不希望你还记得我,否则那样你不会开心,你死了,我也不会总是去守望,因为那是人生的旅程。

不过这也未必对,我常常陷入不可知论的窘境,时时觉得世界有何意义,生存又有何意义,国家,民族,又有何意义,如果这些都没有意义,那爱情这么一个可有可无的附属品又有何意义,哎呀,我怎么如此俗套,落入父亲的窠臼之中?何来意义?为何要有意义?记得父亲总说,你做这事有意义么?没有意义为什么要做?那么多有意义的事情为什么不做?哇塞,我居然被影响如此之深,在不经意间这种念头就冒出来了。意义阿,意义,我恨这个词。干嘛要有意义?那是谁的意义?你的?我的?政府的?社会的?谁给你的?怎么形成的?怎么能那么轻易就强加给我那么一个孩子呢?有时候我感到很愤怒,我被父亲打上了太多的烙印,而且并不是处于他关心我,只是一个他对社会的看法影响的附属品罢了。可是另一方面,又觉得如此要求我的父亲是毫无道理的,他也只是河里的一条鱼,他无权选择他的思想。等等,无权选择他的思想,不,至少我不要这样。

很多年过去了,kky,虽然还是一如既往的kky,但是我希望你变得更加睿智,更有思想,更加包容,更加温暖。你是个让人温暖的女人,我希望你能变的更加从容,更有深度。就好比是个浴缸,也许以前泡澡的时候,由于太短,太浅,胳膊腿,脑袋都在外面,现在,要是一个大大的浴缸,如果想把脑袋跑进去,都可以的话,那就大好了。

你说,我是不是有点yy?

评论

  1. 间客写完了,怎么就想起我了。间客那阵我看到头,就没有再追文了,我还是喜欢一口气看完故事,天天追文,情节太慢了,兴趣也就淡了。我觉得我现在有写看小说成瘾了,一个接一个的故事,从早到晚的看,回家看,上班的路上看,想停又停不下来,干别的事情也觉得没有意思。你说怎么办哪?
    我喜欢浪漫的事情么,我自己没有觉得那,可能就是想两个人一起要做一些比一个人呆着更有意思的事吧。其实浪漫就是温馨那,暖暖的,甜蜜的感觉。呵呵,我给你的颜色都是彩色的,不是黑色,因为我就是一个没有黑色的人那。可是要用彩色去涂抹或是搽除黑色也很累那,呵呵。另外,有些人,有些事,我是一定会记得的,无论生死,记得才会觉得开心,记得才会觉得生命有意义,因为被人爱过,被人牵挂过的感觉最好了,幸福是需要分享的,分享就需要自己和自己以外的人。哈哈,我也说到意义了那,看来男生和女生的意义真的不同那,你说的是国家,民族,我仅想到感情和爱。记住所有幸福的事情,人生就是幸福的,忘了不开心的。

    其实我是喜欢你对我提的要求,如果能够变得更加睿智,更加从容应该很好的事。感觉就像我頼在床上一动不动的时候,你对我说做点什么吧,提高提高你自己吧。我现在就是泡在温水里面的青蛙,早失去了应有的感觉,自满于自己是一个平庸的打工者的身份,每天浑浑噩噩的上班,下班傻兮兮的看看小说。你的要求是好的,可是我没有方法,动力有限,给我设定目标的时候也同时给我一个行动方案吧,我是一个无耐的耍赖皮的人。其实那,我在想即使我变成了一个大号的浴缸,可是泡在浴缸里面的人,也会动的啊,如果他一会抻抻头,一会申申胳膊,一会又会想支出一条腿,怎么也不会完美的包容起来的,不过这也是一种乐趣啊。

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